Day 203 & 204: Driving Through A Storm

I've been so freaking down this week. I cant even lie its because I am moving. This move is not even a big move. Yet, its a move and I have to pack up my crap and leave behind my little castle that I created with my mind. My place has this Zen look going on and I just love it. Well today I will start my boxing up process. I worked really hard to purchase and obtain all I had in my place, and I don't feel like packing anything. I'm grateful to leave (eventually leave NC again), yet its just a scary process for me. I know when I die none of this crap will go with me. I am just scared of the process. I guess because I am getting older and I am less carefree than I used to be. I've been a straight up gypsy previously. I've lived in NC, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Washington, DC, and now NC again in Raleigh, on my way back to LA with a pit stop in Hong Kong ( I will explain that at a later date).

All in all my life is this gumbo of shit that I am going through. I hate to curse in a public platform, BUT it really is some shit. So to make myself feel better I purchased a ticket to this business seminar at the RBC center in Raleigh. I got there late of course because I was crying and getting motivated by one of my best friends on the phone. Yet, I showed up. There were thousands of people there and it was so diverse. I really liked that, because NC is and will always be a hick state. I'm partially hick myself, so there it is. It is what it is. So I walk in solo, and I enter the arena and its this speaker on stage Krish Dhanam. He was pretty Southern and cool and I got him. Yet, I was on my way out the door because I just did not feel like being around happy crowds at all. This is totally unlike me because I love happiness and I love a good motivational story. Not today. Then there was this next speaker whom I did not get his name. He reminded me of John Edwards. He was a pretty man, well groomed and kind of corny. YET, and I feel bad that I am typing this, I was about to leave the seminar until I saw that he was not wearing a wedding band. I then thought well maybe he has something to say that I can understand. I have nothing against married people but I stayed and listened to 10 mins of his self help spill. He said the following:

"There are many smart people who are also broke people..."

I raised my eyebrow when he said that and I thought. Hey that's me. So his next sentence was...

"Smart people typically take what they have learned and then do nothing".

Again, this man had me. He then said...

" There are two steps to making things happen: 1-Dream 2-Act..."

After that comment, my mind did a quick I don't know what to call it. My mind did a mini evaluation and it just clicked...I don't act enough to win at my dreams. I instantly left the seminar and since 12pm noon I've been "acting".

I still feel like shit today, yet I am working through my shit. That speaker who I don't even know his name...saved me from myself. I was going down a big mountain in life. I have had a crazy month so far, and his "spill" saved me.

So thanks Mr. John Edwards looking speaker from today at the Get Motivated Business Seminar that spoke after Krish Dhanam.

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