Days 286-307: 58 Days and Counting

Well, almost  a whole month has passed and I did not post. Of course a lot has happened. For the most part, I have been awakened more. I realized that I have to take the responsibility for where I am in life, and guess what? When I started to monitor my conversations with people, my thoughts, my actions. I have been in a self-defeating mode for a while. Its odd, because I was not even aware of my habit. Until I silenced myself for a bit.

I started listening to the conversations that I would have with people. I begin looking how I treated myself. I begin to really look at where I spent my time, as compared to what I dreamed of. I started paying attention to my friends and what they approached me with---like the topics and all. My family too. I started to question my habits and I started measuring my actions against what I said I wanted out of life. I guess you can call it a end of the year self audit.

What I found really amazed me. I realized that the convos I was having with most my friends were not in alignment with my dreams. I was wasting time talking about trying and not doing. So I started to get to doing. When I started doing, I noticed that I did not really have that much in common with certain friends. Because I was doing. This goes for family too. I noticed that its so easy to have conversations about whats going wrong, and its oddly harder to speak openly about what's going right in our lives. I then noticed that if all my time is spent talking about whats wrong---I'm just going to get more of that. So this month---I've had to correct myself, and correct people so they will not add me to their life categories.

I've learned that its really easy to live out your dream if you never quit. I realized that you must self promote. I have learned that you must take yourself very seriously, because if at one time you were a lazy looser, and then you want to change. People will need to be introduced to the upgraded you.

So here I am. I have 58 days until my goal date for my career change of Feb 17th. So roughly almost 2 months. Well, let me tell you---I had no clue I was going to loose my job in July and then end up moving to Atlanta to officially start my professional acting career. I mean I technically started it in Durham, NC---however, I did have a job then and all. So now its like the real thing. Its amazing how things change when you make a decision. It has not been a smooth ride. But I'm riding this dream thing out. This time, I'm finally doing it.

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Day 285: Building Muscle

I'm building tough skin or muscle when it comes to my professional life. I've learned to love what I create no matter what people say. I've also learned that we all get used and that oddly, all things do work out in our favor. I've learned that you should never try to prove your dreams to anyone. You should know what you want, and if people ask you what you are doing you can show them. Physical evidence is always the best explanation. Because just like art, people will interpret what they want from what they see.

I type all of this today to say that I used to spend a lot of time explaining to people what I was doing. When really it only matters if I understand what I am doing. Because at the end of the day, I must live with my results good and bad. Its cool though to live with what you have created, instead of waiting for someone else's approval or dis approval. When it comes to making money from your art, that's an art too. People like what they like, and when it comes to commerce they may like what you don't even deem important.

I say all of this to say that I have built muscle in my 5 months from work in regard to my art. A muscle that I thought already existed, but it did not. Its not a shield, its more like a cold reality, its more like the strength of my legs to walk. I now have muscle to create and get to where I am going in real time, instead of only in my dreams.

I am happy.

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Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

Love this

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Day 281: Productivity Trick For The Super Creative

I am a super creative person. However, if my mind is not stimulated well. I tend to get into work for a few hours ( an hour at the most, at one time, to churn out the best work). So, I had to figure out how to handle this issue, because I must turn in work and complete projects. I must make some progress.

So here's what worked for me. Set up your work space with your different projects in each corner. Spend an hour straight on each project or more. But make sure you stop at each station. Let me explain what I have done.

So Right Now I have Two Books I am writing ( two different styles), I have some business writing to do, I have some sketches I must do, I am a an actor---so I need to look for work and do some research on that too.

So the other day, I did my morning blogging, I then went straight to sketching some designs. I took a break after 2 hours of work, and then I wrote some of ONE book. I then went to focusing on my acting.

Now this may seem messy, but it actually works, because after let's say 10 hours. You will have at least 3 hours of quality work into some great projects. Also, when you are creating, I would focus on simply creating quality and focused work initially, and then clean up your work at a later date. This method also works well for me, because creative work needs to sit with you for a while. It needs to cook :)

So anyways, I am off to my creative cooking for today.

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Day 278: I'm on a Rocket

I have to wash my face and get to work. Real hard work it is. I am a launch pad for blessings.

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Day 271: I am Happy

I decided to be happy about where I am at in life last night. I've been dreaming awesome dream, having awesome visions, and knowing that all things are working together. I pray I have a great day. I feel like I will. No fireworks, but peaceful and productive. I need some coffee :)

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Day 269-270: Reading

I am awfully tired. It's not working as in physical working, but mental working. I am reading Sidney Poitier's autobio, " The Measure of a Man". Its really good and its a acting lesson and life lesson in one. I am down in the pits about a lot today personally, but this to shall pass. As I learned in the islands last week...after every storm comes the sun and after the sun comes the storm. Its a fact in life. Oddly, I learned a great deal from the Caribbean. Now I am semi broke. Today just sucks for me and I went to church. I will tell you something while the preacher was preaching I wrote on a piece of paper, " I am becoming a Buddhist". I am not sure why I just shared that...

Anyways, here's what's going on with me right now--this moment:

1. Reading this book that is changing my life as an actor.
2. A Literary agent contacted me on Thursday to request two samples of a travel book that I am writing. I am nervous as hell in sending this off. I have it and I will do a once over today and just press send.
3. My blogs have gained a little traction for being in existence for a month. I just need to take a look at where I want t go with each of them. I look at my two blogs as my two 'twins". Oh, check them out at www.globalblackwomen.com and www.culturatist.com .
4. I have to submit 4 travel posts for www.Blackatlas.com --- I have a few trips I want to write about.
5. I am writing a piece for a UN entity to get published.

So I have a little traction going on with my acting and writing.

I will be in Atlanta for about 12 weeks to get involved with their acting scene. I need some experience, so a dear friend is allowing me to stay with them while I put some energy behind that.

Oh! I was contacted this week by an LA gig to submit my resume.

So, in my professional life right now---I have activity.

Its my deepest prayer that I can sale two books ( starting with the travel book and then the memoir), get my blogs together and get more involved online and all, and get to Atlanta and give acting my all.

I will be in Atlanta on Dec 1st. There for Dec-Mar and then back to LA for good ( or until I decide to live somewhere else, namely France or so).

So here I am.

I try to look at where I am at and the possibilities in reaching my goals from God's view. It gives me peace. Since his view is powerful and no one can top it. It gives me peace that in man made terms or views my dreams seem far fetched, but from God's view I'm just a pebble of a being, and what I want is so easy.

I rejoice for the blessings that are about to happen in my life. I feel them. I really feel their breath. If that even makes sense. I feel my blessings breathing on me. They need to just eat me. I'm theirs :)

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Day 268: Its Another Writing Day

I'm pretty busy today. I believe I have caught a trade wind or something, because I am floating well at a staedy pace. It has not been easy to get me at this place...but I am here today and I am blessed.

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Day 267: Writing Day

I'm writing all day today. Got money to make, and of course express myself. I can honestly say I don't understand artist that say they don't care about money. I do. Of course I'd act and write w/o getting paid, its just in me. yet, if I do that I'll have to make money some other type of way and that's so draining on the creative experience or mindset. So I'd rather make money off of my art and live.

To date I have made $225 from acting. It was from a local commercial, a play I starred in, and a film where I did some background work :) Small checks but I can say over the past years that was the best money I have ever earned. So now my quest is to earn money to live my dream lifestyle. I wish I could say I don't love beautiful and sometimes expensive items. I can not.

So now that I have lost my 9 to 5 ( less than six/seven figure job), I now need to pimp my art to get to that same place. Just keeping it honest. I am going to make this happen sooner than later, I have been deprived for 4 months ( since my job ended). I can't live like I have been living for too much longer.

I am at a point where even a Sugar Daddies money would not be enough :)

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Day 266: Writing Day

So much of what I do has to be on paper after its in my head. So today, I just need to get my 'paper' right. I need to have a eyebrow threader with me 24/7...while I am typing I just can't help but to know how thick my brows are. I tell you.

Anyways, I am assisting my father today and I am taking my laptop with me so I can get a lot done. So much to write. So much to do. I will have a blessed day and I look forward to learning a lot.

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Day 265: Do What I've Never Done Before

I like the fact that its 2010. For some reason I love numbers that end with 0's or 5's...when it comes to life and reflection. Like 20 and 25 are milestone ages and same with years...2010 and 2015. So last night I was like what can I do to get where I am going? I told myself---I'm not changing my Feb 17th deadline. So what do I do? I simply do what I have never done before. So I wrote down a list of everything that worked for me over the past 10 years at 22 and then a new list of what I did not do that I can try now. I was amazed at my new list. I was scared of my new list. Now I will prune that list and do what I have never done before. I am ready.

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Day 264: Damita - No Looking Back (US Version)

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Days 263-274: Going Upward

I just found a random old blog of mine here: http://mashawnda.wordpress.com/

I found this picture of me from LAST YEAR where I was fat as shit:

As compared to me right now: 

I am a new person and I never even noticed any change. I mean my body changed, my life has certainly improved and I never even took notice. You know why? Because it was a mental shift. That's all. A mental shift of what was possible. After I shifted my mind. my faith in God, my life, dreams...all other things shifted too. A guy made a comment to my old blog and that's how I re found it. I still don't have access to it...so if you want to see my life from Dec 2007 until right before I started this blog...check out the old blog. So I've been a official blogger for 3 years. I just kept starting and stopping. I had no purpose either. 

I can say...my life changed at 30 years old. 

So here I am with this blog. I created it after seeing Julia and Julie. I gave myself 365 days to get into the entertainment industry. I started this year on feb 17th 2010. My goal deadline is Feb 17th 2011. I have exactly.......

From and including: Monday, November 15, 2010
To and including: Thursday, February 17, 2011

It is 95 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Or 3 months, 3 days including the end date

I'M GOING TO EFFING GET 

THIS GOAL DONE!!!!!

I have 95 days. 

I decided yesterday to move to Atlanta on my way back to LA to at least get into my goal. I am not on stable ground right now. I will land safely. I feel it. I can do this. God got me. 

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Day 262: A New Path

Well, the deadline for my goal which is to be into my 'dream' career by Feb 17th is fast approaching. I have 104 days. Its so close. So naturally I am sad a d bit fearful. YET, I am not stopping. I am not able to do so. I am already on the path to succeed. Well last night the craziest thing happened to me. I was down during the day, and then I just decided to go to sleep early---I was so tired. Then in a dream I was given a plan. Well, a method to get exactly to where I am supposed to go? 

The dream said go from blogger, self published author, commercially successful authors, then to actress, and screenwriter, and so forth. So, today, while I was doing work, I came across a video that pretty much showed me what I am supposed to do via http://aartilla.blogspot.com/

I will alter my game plan. I am glad I saw this you tube video. 

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Day 254-260: Its Nov 1st....My deadline is Feb 17th

I getting close to my goal date and I am still pushing. I have been focused. I am happy with my progress. 

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Day 253: Lani Guinier - State of the Black Union 2009

I want to meet Lani. I love her.

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Days 247-252: Slowly climbing

Its Sunday and I feel like shit. What I have learned this past week is that if something does not make sense to me it does not make sense at all.

So what did I get done this week?

1. I tweak my biz plan
2. I went down to biz zoning office and was told fee is now $100 instead of the $50 on application
3. I lend someone a small loan ( I was happy to help)
4. I was rejected by two book publishers
5. I chatted with one in the UK that was pleasantly sweet
6. I have decided to write, act, and direct a short film and I spoke to a Prof at UNCSA and its a go.
7. I decided to dream higher after reading about other greats!!!
8. I watched two Sidney Poioter films and now I am inspired
9. I went to library and checked out bio of Sidney's life
10. I did a radio skit for a popular Texas show!!! I am excited I did not know I could do that
11. I worked with the NP WIST---to get some stuff done
12. I practice my languages :)

This list could go on...but in so many words I am very productive and busy.

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Day 246: 119 Days to Go

I have 119 Days to Go with my goal of 100% being employed in the Arts and Entertainment industry. You can read my very first post to go over my "story". Today has been a busy day. I am off to write for my two blogs and then send off some proposals and all.

I received a call to asst with a Dallas based radio show with some on air skits ( which will be great experience for me). I have a cast meet and greet this Wed for this indie film I will be in...

So I am busy, yet I am still a amateur.

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Days 243-245: Sometimes I'm Weak...

Sometimes I'm not perfect and I am weak and I have no respect for people. Its all okay. I'm human.

I am deeply tired. I am behind on a lot of tasks because I was mad at the world, while tweeting, and watching Keeping up with the Kardashians.

That's all I feel like typing tonight. Its 1145pm EST and I need to be up at 5am EST to start my day.

Goodnight.

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Day 242: Busy Day

Busy Day. I am thankful to God I am alive in this glorious day and age. My life is very shitty right now of course...but its just temporary. I'll be laughing soon. Money will be rolling in. I'll have a sexy boyfriend again. I will have new clothes and a new lease on life...my business will take off...I'll get book deals....I'lll get paid acting gigs...

Then I may come to where I'm at again...

Life is beautiful nontheless.

Oh, and I believe I am about to convert to Buddhism.  Its not an instant transition, I've been thinking of it a lot actually since last March. 


Well, I watched this film on Siddhartha Gautama, 


I get his story, let's out it that way. 


Buddha is in me. I mean I believed everything that I learned, before learning it. Isn't that crazy. 


Well, I am off :)

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Days 240-241: I feel like Watching a Sexy French Film Today

I am so freaking busy. I've been so freaking productive and I am not able to stop. I am making little strides and I will keep on pushing. Small film projects coming, my business has launched, I've been submitting work for freelance work ---but I have not received any call backs. I've also submitted for FT jobs in the sciences, and no callbacks.

So I will PUSH.

My goal is to move back to LA on Jan 4th and I need income to take me there.

At this point I'd be an escort to get to my goals. I'm joking okay---but really.

All day I've been working and all.

I'm about to go pay a bill, and then come home and work on submitting 30 book proposals.

Its 15 for each book.

After that I will try and watch a French film.

My day is so not sexy---but i am trying.

I need to get to a point where I have income coming in.

The key for now is to just get the foundation laid with everything and then change along the way.

One of my dear friends emailed me today and said that she was dried up creatively and if I had any pointers...I randomly said listen to some Hawaiian music.

So then I listened to some as well...

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Day 239: Very Tired

Casting notice from my UNCSA 

Oh update!!! I was not cast in any of the student films. I am working a gig for a caddy commercial done by the students...it is what it is.

My day breakdown:

I had to go to court today about my car ordeal---lapsed insurance. I feel so stupid. Here I am 32 years old and I knew nothing about lapsed insurance, or how to go to court if I had issues, or had been stopped. I mean I was in the courtroom this morning and I simply paid attention to everything going on. I feel like I should have known by now how things in a court room work. I guess its a first time for everything.

I have to go back on Nov, 8th because I need to handle some more things and all.

I drove back to W-S today and I just slept and slept. I was deeply tired when I went to court. Just tired of working so hard on my projects and all. I deeply enjoy my work and I am going to keep on. Its just a long process.

Thank God for my goals partners.

If it were not for the accountability...I'd be truly FUCKED!!!

Oh well...

This week these book proposals must go out, websites all in sync, blogs running well, tell people about blogs, and do lots of walking and running.

God willing this week will be ultra productive.

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Days 237/238: Climbing

I told my friend tonight I wanted to be in a Love coma. Ha! I laugh at the term . I didn't get a lot of work done between Saturday and today.  I did start applying for only paying acting and modeling jobs. I cut out non paid work, something I have not ever cut out. But what I realized is when I made a decision to cut out non paid work---I have started getting call backs for paid work.

I realized this week when you make a decision of any kind, we should simply respect our decision. That's it. For an example, if I say I want to act professionally, I need to apply daily, and apply only for jobs that allow me to support myself. Its common sense, however, nothing is all that common.

I ma proud of myself.

This week I will push on.

I'm about to prep my blogs for this week.

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Day 236: Today was a Writing Day...

I'm writing my eBook to sale on my Global Black Women site. I wrote for about 5 hrs straight. Thank God for twitter. I feel awful that its my alma mater's homecoming...but I just need to focus on my work right now. Times like this I need a ultra busy boyfriend.

Like when I take breaks from my work I can have awesome sex, then shower, and then get right back to work. I know you didn't need to know all of that...but right now would be the worst time for me to have a boyfriend.

Let me complete these two ebooks, websites, and two book proposals....at least initially and I'd be good.

I want my cake and eat it too.

I'm about to watch a Spanish film and then complete the book draft and post my blogs and a few other tasks and then I'm back at it on Saturday. I really enjoy my work. Its crazy as hell. But I enjoy it...

OH...let me post an email I received today from a dear friend. It made me cry.
----------------------------------
Hi, 

I just wanted to take the time to say hello. What happened to Fashion Week? I assumed you could not find a reasonable ticket. 

Anyway I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are. I was looking at your site global culture science. I have always admired that you have the courage to just step out on faith and do the things that really make you happy and help to make a difference in the lives of others. I wish I had half the courage. 

If there is anything that I can ever do to help in your endeavors, please let me know. I look forward to all that is to come:) 


I could cry again at such the kind post. The support is needed. 


God is good. 

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Day 235: 130 Days

I have given myself one year to reach a few goals I've blog. My deadline is Feb. 17th. I have 130 days---a little over 4 months to go!!! WTF??? Check out the very first page of this blog to understand this blog.

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Day 234: My Day's To Do List

Busy today!!!

Here's my to do list for today:

1. GCS B plan ( complete it)
2. GCS website ( clean it up)
3. 1 Spanish film ( this is how I am brushing up on my Spanish)
4. Go over Biz product list
5. Financial Plan ( review)
6. Read one chapter in triathlete book
7. Read one chapter in Cultural Creatives book
8. Email LA Relator's
9. DR research
10. Submit 40 of the following: model gigs, acting, freelance, FT jobs
11. Self create a new headshot

What I've done today:

1. Prayer
2. Meditate
3. 4 Miles
4. Time reading news
5. Social Media

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Day 233: Directing

I'm sitting  here and I have 14 more things to do on my daily to do list. One of my goals this week is to watch 10 Spanish films. I am doing this to brush up on my Spanish before my Nov trip. The island I'm visiting speaks 100% Spanish.

So I am going to take a 3 hr nap and then get back up.

Before I get back up I have been deeply inspired by two amazing actress/directors:

Paola Mendoza's , " Entre Nos"


Nadine Labaki, " Caramel"



Inspired...

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Days 231/232: I Declare Victory

I am deeply tired. I can honestly say my walking has made me tired. I walked 20 miles last week and my body is so sore. This week goal is 25. I still have my eye on my Feb 17th---deadline. I am sure I am going to make it. I have so much to do towards it as I type away now.

Yet, calmly I declare victory.

I declare victory.

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Days 229/230: Coffee & Grinding

Well, I am in the house and its now 1139pm EST. I have to tweak these websites!!! Yikes! I am about to turn on pandora, drink my coffee, and get in my zone. After that...watch a movie. Then get back to it. I have a long list to do before sunrise on Monday morning.

I have my coffee and I am grinding!

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Day 228: I Must Move

I must move and fast. I am holding on to my rocks, yet its hard living where I am at now. I took my former place for granted. Now I wish I had it.

I have 3 months, 4 days before I move back to LA.

I am ready. Right now I have no clue how I am going to get my items moved back across to CA. But I'll figure it all out.

I never doubt what God is doing in my life. Even when its just stupid stuff. I simply pay attention to what's going on and I move forward in life.

Just like I am doing now.

Today, I will need to complete a lot of work that I needed to have done by the 30th. I can say that I am happy to at least be near my deadline.

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Day 227: Happy

This post will be very quick. I have to go to Univ. of NC School of the Arts in a few to asst a cinematographer with his directing class. I will be a actor that will be used in various scenes for the next 3 weeks. I like the experience.

All day today I worked non stop on my websites. I am building them from the ground up. I also sent out emails to magazines for modeling opportunities, acting opportunities, and job opportunities. Each day I get more and more feedback and potential $$$ opportunities. I can only imagine if I held a steady pace like this for 60 days how my life would be different. It would require heavy work...yet in two weeks my life has changed because of a steady schedule of output of work, submissions, and calls.

Well, let me go! I have no clue what to expect with this UNCSA opportunity.

Oh...the sites I'm working on...

Culturatist

Global Black Women

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Day 226: We are not alone...

Right this moment there is someone else in the world going through your same dilemma. Now that dilemma may be good or bad. You may not ever meet this "dilemma twin", yet you two are connected and just know that when you are undergoing anything...someone is right there with you.

That's how I feel. I am 32, female, recently lost my job on June 30th and moving forward with all my wildest dreams. I know in my heart...somewhere in the world, there is a woman like me going through the motions I am going through.

Salute to her. Salute to me.

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Days 222-225 Making Progress

I am making progress...

No real update for now. Busy working.

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Day 221a: My Twitter Workout Trek

ABOVE: BIKINI BODY + WALK/RUN + TWEETING ( IF YOU TRY IT BE CAREFUL!!! SEE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF POST)

First and foremost let me remind my "ghost" readers that this is a personal blog that tracks my career transition progress over the span of a year. Its not a biz blog or anything. Its personal and I write it for me. I kind of look at it like not wasting paper. I just disposed of 40 notebooks from 2 years of journaling, so personal blogging has provided me with a sweet solace.

So let's get to the topic,"The Twitter trek". In a nutshell, since I departed from my corporate job, I have been seriously lonely. I mean its an odd feeling. I mean I've done a lot, traveled a bit and all, yet I've been feeling alone, during my time of career transition. In addition, I've been overeating a bit, and then not working out. Why didn't I work out? Because I just didn't want to be alone. I've never been like this ever before, I mean I actually prefer to do a lot solo...yet lately, I have just needed a lot of company. I've needed to be around my sister more, and my mom, and my friends, and strangers, and people online. You get the point.

So, I'm going to the Dominican Republic the second week in November. Soon as we made the decision, images of me as a Playboy playmate pranced in my head. I seriously was imaging what I'd look like as a playmate. Then my mind went to a playmate on the beach in the DR! { side note: I really have always wanted to be a playmate. For my husband that is}. Long story short, I had the vision and then I looked at my body in the mirror and I was like damn it! I am going to do this trip right, commit to my newly created travel bucket list and have a hot ass body on the beach in DR, meet some cute boys, and dance the night away in my oh so sexy dresses. Yes, my mind gets away from me a lot. But hey! I'm a writer with a vivid imagination.

So I decide to work out more. I go to a lean pocket, veggies, and water diet. Occasionally, diet Dr. Peppers. I then walk/run 2 miles a morning. To be honest, the workout is a total bore. But since I'm on a tight budget and all...it works. I mean even with my ipod and all it was boring. So, this morning, I decided to try something new. I decided to walk/run 6 miles. I knew in my head that I'd prob only do 4, but I wanted to get a little ambitious. So I began walking and running. I did it for 4 miles totally fine, then right around my 4th mile, I wanted to give up. So instead of giving up I checked twitter while I walked out the last 2 miles. It was so entertaining, and funny, and I was able to catch up with world news. So I did my 6 miles this morning. It took me a little over an hour. I will keep on doing it until I see the results that I want to see.

I'm a scientist by trade, and I am a firm believer in gaining a clear mind while you workout. So I know some people may say that its silly to tweet and walk/run. However, if it were not for twitter this morning with my walk/run, I would have easily done 4 miles and just gave up on 6 miles. So although what I am doing is not scientifically correct, or whatever...if you need to up your workout, I'd suggest that you use twitter to help you stay entertained and informed while you get your body straight.

What are your thoughts on this? I mean the downfall is that your smartphone will get sweaty, but for the purpose of me looking good in the DR and of course keeping my body healthy, this will work for me.

This link says don't do it: http://sify.com/news/texting-while-walking-could-put-your-life-at-risk-news-international-kjsjHTegcah.html

I will do 10 miles a day after my day today. Its just to expedite my results. Ssshhh its our secret.

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Days 220 & 221: Marshall Goldsmith

So I've been listening to my very first Audio book this week because it allows me to be more productive. I decided to take my first shot at Marshall Goldsmith's book, " MOJO". I would advise that you do the same. Just when I thought I'd heard it all...I learn more. Guess where I found out about this man, Success Magazine. Buying the magazine has been the most important investment in my life.

Career Update: I will be doing a lot of acting at University of North Carolina School of the Arts this last quarter of 2010. Many student films and even working with students in their classes. Its a blessing. I've mainly worked in theater to do film is just wonderful experience. On the authorship front, this week I sent out 2 book proposals for my travel book. I need to send out at least 10 more by Sunday. In regard to the memoir that I have written, I am going to be gentle on self and send out 3 proposals. Meeting the standards of the different agents and publishers can be time consuming! But yes, its worth it. In regard to my 3 businesses, everything"s coming along well. After being away from technology for a few years, this week I learned what I needed to know to launch websites for each biz, to get them Google profiles, and to get them signed up in order for me to sale products. So this week, I was very busy.

On the personal front things are coming together slowly. I am going to the Caribbean in November and I need to look fab in my bikini so I've been walking 6 miles a day. I took off on Wed. So I am getting there. I am working well with my money and figuring out how to get back my MOJO.

When I started this blog on Feb 17th, I had one goal: To work Full time in the arts and entertainment field by Feb 17th, 2011. Well I have 144 days left to meet the goal. I'm going to reach that goal by the end of this year.

Every person, book, opportunity I've met along the way has pushed me through it all.

I am very thankful.

This week---I am thankful for the gift of action.

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Day 219: What I now know...

I AM AWAKE-Buddha

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Day 218: My Travel Bucket List

PICTURE ABOVE: 2010 LV CITY GUIDES

I was chatting via twitter last week and I connected with a nice girl that had created a travel bucket list. I thought the idea was great. I tend to travel places and I never really give a lot of thought on the place I travel at all. I just tend to board a plane and just get out of dodge. Well, I just wrote my travel bucket list and you know what??? I have not really enjoyed as many moments of travel that I thought I would have enjoyed. I was amazed! I mean I thought I had experienced a lot of what I have always wanted to experience, and I have but on a very small level.

Its now time to expand. This year I will be able to cross off two items on this list. The water sports in the Dominican Republic ( I go there in Nov), and a black tie event in NYC for NYE and my bday. I have a ways to go!!!! I cant even really recall where all I've traveled!!! I don't remember!!!! WTF!!! This list has made me excited. Now I need to go!!!!

EVERYTHING IN BOLD I'VE DONE ( I cant even remember everything!!!!)

Travel Bucket List
1. Attend Fashion week in NYC----Attended Baby Phat shows and Diesel shows
2. Pop bottles of champagne in Hollywood at the Standard on Sunset drive
3. Attend a nice party on the Upper East Side ( NYC)
4. Attend nice parties in the Hamptons
5. Attend Mass at the Vatican in Rome
6. Visit the Coliseum
7. Visit Battery Park and the Statue of Liberty
8. New Years Eve in Times Square
9. New Years Eve in Las Vegas
10. New Years Eve in DC
11. Get crazy drunk at Mardi Gras
12. Attend a Jay Z summer concert
13. Attend a concert in Las Vegas
14. Shopping on Rodeo Drive
15. Freak nik in Atlanta
16. Broadway plays in NYC
17. Savannah, GA
18. Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, TN
19. Visit the Microsoft Museum/Campus
20. Visit Silicon Valley
21. Visit the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto
22. Visit Harvard and Yale, Brown, Princeton ( Ivy league schools)
23. Napa Valley and Sonoma---Golden gate bridge
24. Space needle in Seattle---Starbucks HQ
25. New Mexico
26. Scottsdale and Phoenix
27. PGA tour
28. Atlanta Olympics 1996
29. Disney World
30. AFI International Film Festival
31. ABFF Film Festival
32. Walk a nude beach in South of France
33. Speed along the cliffs off of the Amalfi coast in Italy
34. Sexy evening in Italy with a beautiful beau
35. Crazy night dancing in a smoky Paris club- Picture in front of the Eiffel Tower & Musee de Luvre
36. I want to ride a Elephant in India
37. I want to go surfing in Hawaii
38. I want to do tango in Argentina
39. I want to attend Carnival in Brazil
40. I want to go back to Mardi Gras and be the leader of the Zulu parade
41. I want to go skiing in the Swiss Alps
42. I want to attend the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes France
43. I want to be on front row at Fashion Week in Milan and Paris
44. I want a London flat, and I want to experience the city more in depth
45. I want to go skinny dipping in Costa Rica with a beautiful beau
46. I want to experience new years in Hong Kong
47. I want to go on a shopping spree in Hong Kong
48. I want to freeze my ass off in Moscow and get lit at a club
49. I want to get in the dj booth at a club in Sydney
50. I want to attend the World cup in Brazil in 2016
51. I want to attend the UP Open ( many of them) in NYC
52. I want to walk the Oscars red carpet in Hollywood during the Oscars
53. I want to see the Taj Mahal
54. I want to have closed in weekend of great sex and champagne in a super lux Dubai hotel
55. I want to attend the Dubai Intl film festival
56. I want to drive in the country side of Dublin
57. I want to attend a business class at London school of business
58. I want to go to Barcelona and attend a fashion show
59. I want to go to Madrid and see a film in Spanish
60. I want to go to the Philippines and spend some time on the country side
61. I want to take over a Karaoke bar in shaghai
62. I want to go to the Dominican and meet some sexy Spanish men and dance the night away
63. I want to go to Vancouver and chill at the W hotel with a sexy beau
64. I want to write a book while I temporarily live in Seattle downtown
65. I want to go shopping in Milan
66. I want to visit Greece and eat authentic Greek food ( my favorite)
67. I want to chill in a yacht in St. Barth’s during my birthday weekend
68. I want to party in Ibiza
69. I want to chill in South Beach and wear the shortest skirts EVER
70. I want to do a nude photo shoot in Barcelona
71. I want to enjoy a romantic weekend in Napa ( I’ve been but not romantic 
72. I want to go to Iceland and be a ass model ( as John Travolta said in Pelham 123)
73. I want to attend an Embassy event at each Embassy ( I’ve been to one---not MANY)
74. I want to attend the Puerto Rican Day Parade in NYC
75. I want to attend the Gay pride parade in SF (I heard its wild and I want to see it!)
76. I want to ride in a hot air balloon in Northern California
77. I want to go hiking in Yosemite mtns
78. I want to experience a super nice black tie event in NYC during NYE/my bday
79. I want to do the laua in Hawaii---I actually want to learn
80. I want to go snorkeling in the Caribbean
81. I want to see the Everglades in Florida
82. I want to attend the Olympics
83. I want to race Ferrari’s ( anywhere)
84. I want to go to a real Irish Pub in Ireland
85. I want to go to the Taste of Chicago
86. I want to buy some good silver jewelry in Mexico
87. I want to see the Christ Redeemer statue in Rio
88. Go skiing in Aspen and Vail, Colorado
89. I want to experience a Buddhist retreat in China
90. Pyramids in Egypt
91. Water sports in the Barrier Islands ( Australia)
92. Amazon Rain forest in Brazil
93. Bali
94. Jump off a cliff in Hawaii ( not a big one) but one—I saw this in a movie
95. Remains of the Berlin Wall in Germany
96. South Africa Fashion Week
97. Eat lots of chocolate in Belgium
98. I want to visit Amsterdam
99. Tour of the White House ( I’ve never been)
100. Attend the Grammy’s in Hollywood
101. Run with the Bulls in Spain
102. Dog sledding and tour of Sarah Palin’s former office in Alaska
103. Poland
104. Scotland
105. Film sets in Nigeria
106. Visit North Africa
107. Visit Mar antique just because cousin Denise lived there
108. Maldives with Tally and our husbands 
109. I want to see the slave castles in The Gambia
110. Barbados to see the Dowell house and do some family background research
111. Visit Scotland ( history research)
112. I want to visit any sites that relate to Gandhi’s journey
113. I want to take a picture in front of Big Ben in London
114. Montreal Jazz Festival
115. Chill in Rome in a 5 star hotel with my husband
116. Grand Canyon ( I forgot if I have seen it) sad I know
117. Japan
118. Antarctica ( not sure if I can go and visit but I want to)
119. Venice Film festival---I want to go
120. Sundance Film Festival in Utah
121. Iowa to see lots of farming
122. Jackson Hole
123. Montana to see the ranches and all
124. Chile
125. Bolivia--- Salt mounds
126. Prague--- he Dancing House (Fred and Ginger Building)
127. Peru
128. Columbia---Bogotá ( to see whatever it was I saw in the film Scarface)---so serious
129. Puerto Rico----go to a regatton club---
130. Mexico City
131. Kanye West Concert in Europe
132. Stockholm, Sweden
133. Denmark
134. Israel
135. Martha’s Vineyard, MASS
136. Corolla Wild Horses in NC
137. Bonus
138. Indian reservations in NC
139. Volunteer sometime in the Somali hospitals in San Diego
140. Bayou Classic in New Orleans
141. NBA All stars
142. Superbowl
143. UNC/Duke game in NC ( Ive never freaking been)
144. I want to visit all W Hotels  I’ve been to mostly all in the US , except the new ones

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Days 215-217: Each New Day...

I find that each new day brings forth a new agenda, surprise, and life lesson. Plans for our lives are needed, yet what I have seen is that Flexibility is needed more. Life is more like water than any other earthy element. It flows, fills, drains, and gains.
I must remember this fact as I start out on each of my new days.

Today, I have a meeting that was arranged via @twitter :) morning run, and then non stop writing and working. Today I will be pulling a very long day. Yet, its all worth it. Through it all today I need to deeply understand my everyday is more like water ( a fluid) than like a mountain ( a solid).

Have a blessed Monday to whomever reads my blog :)

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Days 208 to 214: As long as I tell myself MY truth

Most people will not 100% GET you and we all need to be cool with that. Well that's the way it is with my mother. I love her dearly, yet I am speaking English while she is speaking Mandarin. Not really, but you get my point. So this week, between I've had to deal with her, moving, and tons of bullshit. Gosh, my mind just visualized what bullshit actually looked like and maybe what I went through this week was more like fish shit.

I am pushing through with my goals and ironically, I have a meeting today with a goal partner to review my progress since July 1, 2010.

This is where I am from my goal of being fully vested in the industry with a salary ( please refer to my very first blog if you need to understand this statement).

From and including: Saturday, September 18, 2010
To and including: Thursday, February 17, 2011

It is 153 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Or 5 months including the end date

Alternative time units
153 days can be converted to one of these units:
13,219,200 seconds
220,320 minutes
3672 hours
21 weeks (rounded down)

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Day 207a: My Re-Introduction

I LOVE THIS BLACK AND WHITE PICTURE ABOVE. PHOTO CREDIT: ME :)

Let me introduce myself. Well re-introduce myself if you clicked on the link from my twitter page. As a back story www.mashawnda.com was banished due to an expired domain fee...hence this blogger site will have to do for this moment.

WHO AM I?

First and foremost you must know I am spiritual. I am one of those people you take to a 50 cent concert and I'll leave telling everyone it was a spiritual experience and how I "felt" 50's pain through the music. Most of my closet friends know this. This is part of who I am. My associates will not see this side of me...but ask all of my best friends. They know this...and I know why I am like this. Because by trade I am a freaking scientist. Yep, ten years as a scientist. I was let go from my last job on July 1st, so you may as well call me a retired scientist. So although I am ultra spiritual, I am also a scientist. Just thing of a young, black american, and beautiful version of Deepak Chopra and you'll have me. I am not a medical doctor like Deepak, but I've done actual cancer research amongst other research, so in actuality I've done more than a physician. Minus the extra years of school, and way less pay.

I travel like a maniac. I've been in lots of trouble in so many ways. I've gone beyond what's expected of me, and each day is a new testimony for my good life.

I eat beauty. I eat culture. I eat love.

I am re positioning myself in the global market right now, and seeing where I fit in both economically, relationship wise ( hey I do want to marry), and most importantly, mission wise. I believe today Ive found my way.

So that's me. I'll post more about myself in other posts. This blog will be shut down and die on Feb 17th ( that's my goal). If you need a reminder of the goal of this blog---go read my very first post.

Hi, my name is Mashawnda :) MA-SHAWN-DA ---- :)

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Day 207: and her name is Culturati...

You get creative when your life has made a dramatic turn and you don't have a lot of money in order to make a better life for yourself. Welcome to my world. I am branding myself. I am the most cultured person I know, and while I am piecing my life back together, I thought today, why not tweet daily on all things cultural? So although I will blog here daily ( I must because its a challenge to myself to transition 100%) into my dream career situation by Feb 17th 2011. I will be creating a commercial blog at www.culturatist.com this weekend.

Its as if God gave me a greenlight.

and I'm going to ...---->

GO

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Day 206: A Clean Chalk Board

When I was a young girl, I loved erasing the blackboard after a long lesson. Back then I was not sure why I liked to do that. I just did it. Especially when I stayed after school and waited for my rides home. I'd go into class rooms and erase the boards clean and then I start to write on them, as if I were the teacher of the class.

Now I know why I did that. I did it because I like new beginnings. I like to wipe boards clean and start again. I do. I might add and the fact that I have a slight case of OCD. But for the most part I take pride and I put a lot of work into new beginnings.

Today I wiped a "blackboard" clean. Only this time I understand my ways.

The lessons that were

WRITTEN

have been learned.

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Day 205: Resting in God

{I cant find a pretty pic right now of me or anything resting, so just imagine it}

I am trying to stay focus in making sure I have everything I need for cleaning up my businesses and automating everything. So this morning I started off with a list of items to do and instead I got stuck on this hot site for wordpress websites. Needless to say, I have not gotten a lot done today. Its 4:32pm and I have tons of work to get done. But you know what? Right now I am about to go home take a bath and watch this indie film I have named "Khan".

I should be very worried right this moment. You see I have a massive tooth ache, with no dental insurance. I received my "work assignment papers" for tomorrow's show at the Lincoln Center in NYC. Yes, its a working gig. I am smiling about that. YET, I have not booked my flight which I will be using vouchers I collected when I was working at my most recent employer who then paid for all of my world travel. I have no place to stay this weekend in NYC and there is so much other crap I could post. BUT. God has me. I rest in God's power. I have to or I will go crazy.

There's so many options for me right now: Go insane, give up, laugh, cry, scream. I am simply taking a break for about four hours and hopefully by then I will be refreshed seen a good movie, taken a hot bath, got some advil for my painful toothache, and booked my weekend travel to NYC.

I am resting in God.

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Day 204a: Proclamation Of Determination

I just had to post a pic of Kobe :) that dude is awesome!


I just checked facebook to find a kind message on my wall. I wanted to share with you all. Its from a facebook pal named "Bobby".

Proclamation Of Determination
by Bobby Patterson on Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at 12:57pm

When you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,
To work day and night for it,
To give up your peace and your sleep and your time for it;
If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough never to tire of it;
If life seems all empty and useless without it,
And all that you dream and you scheme is about it;
If gladly you'll sweat for it, fret for it, plan for it,
Pray with all your strength for it;
If you'll simply go after the thing that you want with all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity; faith, hope, and confidence, stern pertinacity;
If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt
Nor sickness or pain to body or brain can turn you away
From the aim that you want;
If dogged and grim, you besiege and beset it, and with the Father’s help you'll get it!

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Day 203 & 204: Driving Through A Storm

I've been so freaking down this week. I cant even lie its because I am moving. This move is not even a big move. Yet, its a move and I have to pack up my crap and leave behind my little castle that I created with my mind. My place has this Zen look going on and I just love it. Well today I will start my boxing up process. I worked really hard to purchase and obtain all I had in my place, and I don't feel like packing anything. I'm grateful to leave (eventually leave NC again), yet its just a scary process for me. I know when I die none of this crap will go with me. I am just scared of the process. I guess because I am getting older and I am less carefree than I used to be. I've been a straight up gypsy previously. I've lived in NC, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Washington, DC, and now NC again in Raleigh, on my way back to LA with a pit stop in Hong Kong ( I will explain that at a later date).

All in all my life is this gumbo of shit that I am going through. I hate to curse in a public platform, BUT it really is some shit. So to make myself feel better I purchased a ticket to this business seminar at the RBC center in Raleigh. I got there late of course because I was crying and getting motivated by one of my best friends on the phone. Yet, I showed up. There were thousands of people there and it was so diverse. I really liked that, because NC is and will always be a hick state. I'm partially hick myself, so there it is. It is what it is. So I walk in solo, and I enter the arena and its this speaker on stage Krish Dhanam. He was pretty Southern and cool and I got him. Yet, I was on my way out the door because I just did not feel like being around happy crowds at all. This is totally unlike me because I love happiness and I love a good motivational story. Not today. Then there was this next speaker whom I did not get his name. He reminded me of John Edwards. He was a pretty man, well groomed and kind of corny. YET, and I feel bad that I am typing this, I was about to leave the seminar until I saw that he was not wearing a wedding band. I then thought well maybe he has something to say that I can understand. I have nothing against married people but I stayed and listened to 10 mins of his self help spill. He said the following:

"There are many smart people who are also broke people..."

I raised my eyebrow when he said that and I thought. Hey that's me. So his next sentence was...

"Smart people typically take what they have learned and then do nothing".

Again, this man had me. He then said...

" There are two steps to making things happen: 1-Dream 2-Act..."

After that comment, my mind did a quick I don't know what to call it. My mind did a mini evaluation and it just clicked...I don't act enough to win at my dreams. I instantly left the seminar and since 12pm noon I've been "acting".

I still feel like shit today, yet I am working through my shit. That speaker who I don't even know his name...saved me from myself. I was going down a big mountain in life. I have had a crazy month so far, and his "spill" saved me.

So thanks Mr. John Edwards looking speaker from today at the Get Motivated Business Seminar that spoke after Krish Dhanam.

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Day 202: Great Big Stack to Sort

This will be a boring post. But hey maintenance has never been fun?

Today was a very lazy day for me. I have papers up to my neck to organize and sort. I did a first trashing ( where I went in and I threw away all papers that I don't need). Now I have of all the important papers of my life to sort and organize.

I woke up this morning with tons to do with my day, yet God just spoke to me and said get my papers in order. When I say "papers", I am speaking of bills, invitations, holiday cards, proposals, applications, receipts ( I save these for business purposes), and everything else. I also have this habit of saving some travel documents and placing it into my travel journal so if I have kids one day they can see the travel documents of my life. Yes, I do stuff like that.

So, although I am about to go to sleep now. I feel okay that I was able to trash a first layer of paper away. I know have this HUGE stack to organize. Most likely I will just awake in a few to get it all sorted away, so I can get on to my week.

This week is looking like it may be exciting. I now have the publisher info to submit to. So I will handle that mail this week. I have a business development workshop all day on Wed, which will be good for me. On Friday I am off to DC for two Embassy events with the Embassies of Japan and Brazil. So its a slightly busy week.

But to be honest. Very honest on my blog. I need to always keep in mind my daily goal. What have I done on a daily basis to go from unemployment to self employment? I will have to ask myself this every hour to make sure I am always on track. Its a very serious transition I am undergoing.

I am going to pot it all on my blog. Be warned.

If you have the same "issue" as me check out this link: http://zenhabits.net/how-to-simplify-your-filing-system-or-why-stacking-just-doesnt-work/

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Days 200 & 201: GOD

I am working on completing a lot of end of the week goals. I have much to say, but not a lot of time to actually type it. Today's Sunday, and I'd like to post a bit about God. My mother has this dear friend that lives in a housing projects of my birth city. I remember one day as a young girl I was walking in the home and I saw this white Jesus face and I just stared at it and I wondered who gave God a face? Who gave him a race? Now as an adult, I see who did it. It is what it is. So when I saw a tweet from Deepak Chopra with the NYTImes. I understood him.

Here's Deepak's commentary:

NYTimes: Do you think God exists? DChopra: Yes, but not as a dead white male.

http://deepakchopra.com/2010/09/imagining-the-prophet-interview-by-deborah-solomon/

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Day 199: The Path That Chose Me is Mine

I am now confident that the path in life that has chosen me is mine. I can finally walk straight now. I know that does not make sense, because it makes no sense to me, but then it does.

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Day 198: Food Pics

I like to take pics of food. I don't understand my "like". BUT I'm cool with it :)
Here's a pic I took last week of the Gelato we ate. The colors were gorgeous!!! I love pretty colors and textures!!!!

Today I'm making great progress on all fronts. I have a long list to do and I cant go to bed until the list is done. So today will be long. BUT I am happy and at peace. So its really good. I'm having a very progressive day. So when Friday comes I can do even more.

Majority of my work is writing. Yep.

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Days 192-197: 1st Class to Low Class & back to High Class with a Live DREAM!!!!!!!

The past 6 days of my life have been pure HELL. No one knows this but you invisible viewers of my blog!!! I go through hell in my life with a smile. I went from prancing to museums in San Francisco, to eating gelato with pals on a windy day, to flying first class via Delta, to being in jail for 7 hours, to going to the Ava Gardner museum, to conducting research for my books.

I literally went from flying to crashing and flying again. Just so we are on the same page I was really arrested and spent time in jail on Monday night for lapse of insurance from last October. Hell yeah I took my mugshot with a smile. Nothing will get me down from my dream. Not my recent job loss, nor a brief moment in jail, nor my past irresponsibility. I am FOREVER growing. My jail time was totally confusing to me, and I am still in shock.

The experience was totally unexpected, yet I needed it. I needed a wake up call to get my ass in order. Although I had taken care of the matter and I am going to sue the state of NC for not entering in their system and the NC DMV system that I had already taken care of matter....I learned a lot from my 7 hours in jail.

I don't really feel like blogging about what I learned right now. Kind of embarrassing and rather painful. Just know on Monday around 3pm I was getting my mug shot taken. I was treated like a criminal and it felt unruly and just rather odd.

So what's happened today with my progress?

Well, I completed the book the " Four Hour Workweek" in 48 hrs. I actually had it in my purse as I headed to jail. When I got home that night...I actually took a very hot bath and read the book. The book gave me everything I needed to read at this point in my life. Thus, my plans for my life have changed a bit.

Here's a email that I sent a friend last night ( it will tell you what I will be doing---read it from bottom to the top):

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 3:29 AM
Subject: Re: Hey
To: XXXX@hotmail.com>

You must move. I'm in same boat. I'm not afraid though. I just need to find a way for automated income while I act full time. I'm a scientist by trade and I'm smart as shit. I'd be a fool to arrive to Hollywood and not be self employed by my other talents while I act.

I just read this book the 4 hour work week and I now have a plan.

Here's my goal:

Sep-Jan: Sale writings ( books,scripts,marketing plans), launch automated business (informational products), set up auto accounts, freelance work. Down scale my living exp. ETC ( done- $680 apt and selling car to get a used cheaper one)...income streams...anything that makes a $ and I'm passionate about. All money I make will be made remotely like my old job.

Jan-March ( 6 weeks )- I'm going to work remotely from Hong Kong. Go there to learn language, get some fresh ideas, and totally transition my mind from a 9 to 5 worker for 10 yrs to a self employed new rich woman. Because my mins is effed up with a poor mentality. I need to distress and total reformation period for myself.

April- With the money I've obtained from books sales, my biz's, free lancing, and etc... I'm going to rent a room at first ( a nice one in LA) and act Full time. I'm renting a room because its more affordable and cheap. Also I'll still have my NC apt. I'm keeping it because its nice and cheap and regardless what happens this year or next, I'll have a clean stable place to go. At the same time I'll be writing more, managing my biz with virtual assts from India and making money.

The key for my LA move is keep it quiet and just act. I'm gonna be 33 when I go and ppl will try to say I can't because of my age...BUT I'll just have a better advantage because I'm older and not dried up and I'm determined. Most 33 year old are pregnant and peaked career wise. I'll be new. When I say act FT. I'm talking about act opposite Will Smith acting. I've set my standards pretty high because everyone else is setting them low.

The goal is to own two cribs NC home ( cheap property) and LA apt all next year. I'll start making money from acting and meeting key people and I'll upgrade myself gradually. I have no choice. I must. I'm aiming very high.

So that's my plan. I got the idea by reading the book the 4hr wkr week and I'm up working on master plan now.

No one will believe what I'm doing but I've changed since attending abff in June. Maybe even before then.

I must do my best cause I know I'm the best you know.

Let me know if I can help you with anything.

Stay up,

Mashawnda
------Original Message------
From: XXXXXXXXXX @hotmail.com
To: Mashawnda Dowell
Subject: Hey
Sent: Aug 31, 2010 10:58 PM

How are you? Man Mashawnda I want to move but I'm scared. I wanted to move to LA 10 years ago and still haven't done it. This is starting to make me irritated and I'm lashing out at people because I'm not doing what I want. I'm so torn. I want to move but I worry about how am I going to pay my bills.

There has got to be a way.

Thanks for listening

Sent from my iPhone



So, that's my next plans. Its like I experienced the Delta Sky Lounge, to going to museums, and flying first class all while in San Fran to getting jailed when I got home. I was irresponsible for letting my insurance lapse last October. YET, I woke up from my play dream. I'm officially ready to live out my dream.

So what did I do today?

1. I wrote out my self publishing book idea. I still need to tweak it tonight, yet I have my product for my automated business that the author of the 4 hour work week spoke about. I will next beta test it all and of course write the book.

2. I went to Barnes and Noble and I obtained agent info for the two books that I will get published ( a memoir and a travel book series).

3. I finally mailed off two letters for branding consulting for two large Brands. I worked hard as hell to get contact info from these two companies.

4. I started back with my 75% Veggie eating. Its my only methods to get and stay lean. I just eat too much fatty food without control. I love veggies and why not do it long term.

5. With acting I've placed in on hold a bit for the next two weeks so I can get this writing out the way. I'm still submitting, but my writing is income faster.

6. I've been praying, meditating, visualizing daily.

7. I've had to take control of my time. I wasted so much time with my life before the book.

8. I looked up one way flights to Hong Kong for my 6 week vacation. The flights were like $923 on Delta from SFO. I have a $800 credit. I am purchasing this flight after my move on Sep 15th. Just by buying the expensive ticket will put fire under my ass.

This list can go on...the point is I am awake now.

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Day 191a: A Good Post from Facebook ( posted by K. Saquile Lazenby)

I had to re post this statement that my pal Saquile Lazenby posted to facebook.

Eckhart Tolle's Present Moment Reminder: "Instead of creating expectations of what should or should not be happening, cooperate with the form that this moment takes. Bring a 'yes'to the isness, because it's pointless to argue if it already is. A greater intelligence is available to you when you no longer reject, deny, or 'don't want' what is."

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Days 190/191: Learn from all Things

PICTURE:Jules Bastien-Lepage (1848-1884):: Hay Making::1877
( Picture from www.musee-orsay.fr )

I'm blogging from San Fran. The W hotel in Silicon Valley to be exact. I am under the weather right now. I think I am allergic to my friends dog. Oh well, it is what it is. This post will be very short. I went to a exhibit yesterday at the De Young Museum in downtown SF. It was a exhibit on Impressionism. As with everything I do, I took what I learned and applied it all to my life. I learned that artist are the "spokespeople" for many cowards.

That's it.

I'm still thinking about everything else I learned yesterday. I know I learned more than that...

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Day 189: Looking Back at my "No's"

Have you ever taken the tme to look back at your life to see everything you've been denied or told 'no' to? Me either. Until this morning. When I did look back at each "No" what I realized is that I influenced that "no" more than I'd like to admit. I influenced that "no" a lot. When I think back to all the scenerios where I've had to get a yes or no answer it typically delt with money approval, a job approval, support of my work by another person. So when you look at the big picture of getting told "no" we actually have more power over the response than we realize. Lets remember that next time we request anythng in life.

Today I'm finishing up some book querres, writing some cover letters, and going to the lovely dentist. It's Monday, and I want to start it off slow and steady.

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Day 188: Enter Through the Exit Door

The best way into a crowded building is through the exit doors. For the most part we humans are creatures of habit. We have so much going on in our lives that sometimes it’s just so much easier to follow the leader. It’s so easy to follow the person that leads or those that are more self-guided and directed than the majority of us are. The thing is when we do that we miss a lot of the blessings that are due to us. We actually at times give our blessings away. Sure I believe in an abundance of blessings. Yet wouldn’t you want to keep even the blessings that you give away? I say that we start receiving all of our blessings in all areas of our lives by going through the “exit” doors.

This means that if we take a look at all of the areas of lives we should pay close attention to the “exit” factors of that area of our lives. Like with our employment. If there’s a job that we want at a certain company instead of going through the front door of applying online or networking with current employees, what about going through people who have retired from that very company, people that have been fired from that company, or people that quit working for that very company? I believe that they would have information that they no longer need and they can give it to us. It’s a good thought isn’t it? Same goes with our love lives. The people that we desire are someone’s ex boyfriend or girlfriend or lover. Try to find out about your love goal through the ex. The cliché saying that what’s one’s man’s trash is one man’s treasure is true. But for the purpose of this post today…this phrase goes for all parts of our lives. Let’s look at the exit door to make our grand entrances.

This week I have the following to do:
1. Travel to San Fran for part business ( interviews/meetings ) and part pleasure with one of my best friends in the world!
2. Handle my daily business goals
3. Etc...................................................

I am looking forward to the museums I am going to in SF. I am excited about that. Its like through all the projects I am involved in...it feels good learning about other subject matters and being inspired. That reminds me, I need to find a way to see the Salvador Dali exhibit in Atlanta.

Have a blessed Sunday!!!

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Day 187: New Direction for Blog...

ABOVE: Pictures of Sohphia/Sofia's---[from Top to bottom]Sophia B. Packard, Sophia Loren, Ms. Sophia, and Sofia Coppola

Right this moment I’m supposed to be in the Hamptons. But instead I am blogging from my beautiful apartment in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was in the Hamptons last summer, and this summer I’ve found myself, my soul, and I really need to work on the foundation of that relationship. It’s my hope that I just connected with you with that last sentence. Not the part about the Hamptons, but the self relationship part. I’m big on living your best life now. Nevertheless, right this moment, this very weekend I am nourishing my relationship with myself like a newborn. Before I forget, welcome to my blog. Today, I’ve decided to re-direct the way I express myself via this medium. Please continue to read on to understand my world. Again, thanks for taking the time to read what I have to say. I have lots to say and I welcome you to my journey. Please invite me into yours. I love connecting to all people or all kinds!

First things first, I am who I am. Who I am is a hybrid of who other women before me have been. These women are/were all races, religions, political affiliations, sexual orientation, geographical locations, and then some. My being pulls from all of them. I am not them, yet I pull from them for my purpose on earth. They have guided me on my direction. For the purpose of this blog, I am pulling from women with the name of Sophia. Why Sophia you may ask? Well one of my dreams is to become a Hollywood based actress and screenwriter. I watched the movie “Julia and Julie”, and I decided to attempt to do the same as screenwriter/director/actress Sophia Coppola. I was derailed by my selection of Sofia when I realized that she had a larger than life father, Francis Ford Coppola. So, after I made my selection on who to emulate professionally, I felt lost. Then I thought, Sophia has her earthly father and I have God, my heavenly father. So I will follow suit like she has and does. I started the blog on February 17, 2010, with the goal of actually living IN my dream by February 17, 2011. Well since that very day when I made my decision some surreal things have happened to me.

They are as follows:

1.I starred in my first play as an adult.
2.I submitted my first spec script to a contest
3.I’ve been committed to this blog like crazy (with no audience that I know of)
4.I was let go from my job as a Quality Manager. I am a scientist by trade.
5.I have invented a product ( now selecting patent attorneys)
6.I’ve started a start up business, Speak Scientific Productions
7.I’ve read a total of 86 books this year so far
8.I’ve watched a total of 129 films this year (studied the films special features) as directed by Spike Lee during a filmmakers masters class I took with him.
9.I attended a film festival as a patron ( I am a serial volunteer)
10.I’ve auditioned for 11 projects.
11.I’ve lost a lot of weight and I am healthier ( see previous posts)
12.I was invited to serve on the board of Girls on the Run International
13.I went to my first Triathlete meeting for newbie’s
14.I joined a Portuguese Language group in my city
15.I’ve started travel blogging for American Airlines black traveler site blackatlas.com
16.I’ve written two branding campaigns for two large corporations.
17.I’ve written a step outline for several films and one TV show
18.I’ve started dabbling into Photography
19.I’ve started writing a novel based on my life in 2000-2001
20.I’ve developed a closer relationship with God.

I state all of the above to explain to you that I am more than just an actress. I am Mashawnda. I am a serial entrepreneur. I am a writer. I am a philanthropist. I am a yogi. I am a Christian. I’m a former heartbreaker. I am a serial artist (truth be told). I’ve sculpted clay, I write poetry. Professionally, I am a scientist. That’s how I’ve paid my bills for the past ten years. I’ve conducted research and testing on Cancer and HIV, as well as the West Nile Virus. I’ve modeled for Belk Department stores, so I guess I am or have been a model. I’ve owned a failed DC-based non-profit. My list goes on. I’ve done a lot and I’m happy doing a lot with my time on earth. I never do it all alone, that’s for sure, but I am my own woman. I have many titles and for this blog I am following suit like Sophia.

Without further ado, I’d like to post this article about the name of Sophia:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/pop_print.shtml?content_type=article&content_type_id=1079252

As the article states the name Sophia has many variations. For this blog I'll use them all. Also, while that article was great, I must do a Kanye West interruption and say that the author forgot two women of African-American decent that I also relate to named Sophia: Sophia B. Packard and Ms. Sophia from the film, “The Color Purple”. Yes, the role Oprah Winfrey played. I am all of them and then some.

I will blog daily and I expect your interaction with my daily posts. I mean whether you are emailing me from work, the beach, or your bathroom let’s start a lifelong conversation. I need you and maybe you will come to need me.

Stay Peaceful. Stay Pretty. Stay Paid.

Mashawnda Dowell

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Day 186: Rested Up

I was reading my bible this am and I can across the book of Ephesians. In the section I read it spoke about 'resting'. When I think of resting, I think of getting in my bed and sleeping. Well in this book in the bible, it was talking about resting in God's rest. This means trusting him to do what needs to be done in our lives. Today I'm super busy... But I must start resting in God.

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Days 184-185: This is a Test- I have Balance

For the past two days I have been presented with a few challenges and tests. However, I really don't have the time to worry about what I can not change. What I've come to learn is to focus on what I can make a difference with and the other stuff will all correct its self. Its like focus on the vision and the items that I have energy to correct.

For an example, my former employer called me the other day saying I owe them money from travel that I took in June, before I departed. I explained to them in a letter that I was charged by the vendor on my card and then on my company card. How can this happen you may ask? When I worked at my former job, I just held my company card on all of my travel profiles for easy check in and out. Long story short I was told that I needed to pay the funds charged to the account by the end of the month. I am currently working with a low income and right now I dont have the funds.

There used to be a time in my life where I would not sleep because I could not provide something I dont have. I used to cry and get nervous and etc. However, now I do what I can do. I tell people what to expect from me and we can go from there.

I can only give what I have.

So thats with that. Other than that I am pressing forward with my life. Its been exactly 1 month and 19 days since I was last employed. I am working hard to go over 3 months of being on unemployment.

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