Days 110-113: Slowing Down

Well good news first I have an awesome audition on this coming Sunday for the broadway play, " Rent". The show will be held at the Durham Performing Arts Center. I will have to sing in this audition---and although that is not a focus area of my talents---I know I can do it. I am thinking I will audition for a minor role if offered.

Okay the not so great news. I have started to slow down. Jan, Feb, Mar, April, May have all past. Ive done great work --- but what I was doing many times is frantically starting projects just for the sake of starting projects so I could report back to my goals group that something was done.

Well I must stop the rushing with my life on all areas. Its not healthy for me. Of course life calls for many chaotic moments, however, I can say around 75% of the time I can determine how I am going to handle everything I am involved in without being emotional about it. This includes my weight, money, career, education, love. The roles I take on, the writing I do, etc. I need to carefully consider all of my choices on a daily basis, and how I react to those choices. Choices are like raindrops---when choices touch fertile seeds---fruits and veggies grow. In life when some right choices touch the seeds of my goals. Dreams are born. Quality in---Quality I will have.

Well Ive been rushing just to make a statement. No more. I want to be useful in all I do. I want to give my undivided attention to people and projects and myself. I want to be calmly focused in all I do. I want to grow into the Quality that I am---just never been focused.

I've been without a car now for a few weeks ( I will tell you all about it in my new webseries

" The Reality of Me"), so Ive had to walk everywhere or rent a car to go to work. Well every time I walk in the heat I always get dizzy by the heat. I will not do it again. Yet the first time I got so dizzy it was 98 degree outside and I got lightheaded. I immediately prayed to God that I would not faint or so---because I was in my house alone. So I started breathing as I did in yoga. Just breathing calmly in and out for about 20 mins to get a steady heart beat going.

I then thought about it---1) I'm getting older and I cant just not take care of my health. 2)By almost passing out---it oddly made me aware that I was alive. Here I was a healthy person---never ill ( thank God) and I was feeling very ill.

That whole ordeal made me realize that my life could be gone in a second. I was so scared. Yet the calmly breathing in the midst of chaos---calmed my heart, my mind, and my soul.

Something good came from something bad.

So in honor of that new " Heath incident"....I will be taking my life more seriously and living more slowly.

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