Day 191a: A Good Post from Facebook ( posted by K. Saquile Lazenby)

I had to re post this statement that my pal Saquile Lazenby posted to facebook.

Eckhart Tolle's Present Moment Reminder: "Instead of creating expectations of what should or should not be happening, cooperate with the form that this moment takes. Bring a 'yes'to the isness, because it's pointless to argue if it already is. A greater intelligence is available to you when you no longer reject, deny, or 'don't want' what is."

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Days 190/191: Learn from all Things

PICTURE:Jules Bastien-Lepage (1848-1884):: Hay Making::1877
( Picture from www.musee-orsay.fr )

I'm blogging from San Fran. The W hotel in Silicon Valley to be exact. I am under the weather right now. I think I am allergic to my friends dog. Oh well, it is what it is. This post will be very short. I went to a exhibit yesterday at the De Young Museum in downtown SF. It was a exhibit on Impressionism. As with everything I do, I took what I learned and applied it all to my life. I learned that artist are the "spokespeople" for many cowards.

That's it.

I'm still thinking about everything else I learned yesterday. I know I learned more than that...

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Day 189: Looking Back at my "No's"

Have you ever taken the tme to look back at your life to see everything you've been denied or told 'no' to? Me either. Until this morning. When I did look back at each "No" what I realized is that I influenced that "no" more than I'd like to admit. I influenced that "no" a lot. When I think back to all the scenerios where I've had to get a yes or no answer it typically delt with money approval, a job approval, support of my work by another person. So when you look at the big picture of getting told "no" we actually have more power over the response than we realize. Lets remember that next time we request anythng in life.

Today I'm finishing up some book querres, writing some cover letters, and going to the lovely dentist. It's Monday, and I want to start it off slow and steady.

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Day 188: Enter Through the Exit Door

The best way into a crowded building is through the exit doors. For the most part we humans are creatures of habit. We have so much going on in our lives that sometimes it’s just so much easier to follow the leader. It’s so easy to follow the person that leads or those that are more self-guided and directed than the majority of us are. The thing is when we do that we miss a lot of the blessings that are due to us. We actually at times give our blessings away. Sure I believe in an abundance of blessings. Yet wouldn’t you want to keep even the blessings that you give away? I say that we start receiving all of our blessings in all areas of our lives by going through the “exit” doors.

This means that if we take a look at all of the areas of lives we should pay close attention to the “exit” factors of that area of our lives. Like with our employment. If there’s a job that we want at a certain company instead of going through the front door of applying online or networking with current employees, what about going through people who have retired from that very company, people that have been fired from that company, or people that quit working for that very company? I believe that they would have information that they no longer need and they can give it to us. It’s a good thought isn’t it? Same goes with our love lives. The people that we desire are someone’s ex boyfriend or girlfriend or lover. Try to find out about your love goal through the ex. The cliché saying that what’s one’s man’s trash is one man’s treasure is true. But for the purpose of this post today…this phrase goes for all parts of our lives. Let’s look at the exit door to make our grand entrances.

This week I have the following to do:
1. Travel to San Fran for part business ( interviews/meetings ) and part pleasure with one of my best friends in the world!
2. Handle my daily business goals
3. Etc...................................................

I am looking forward to the museums I am going to in SF. I am excited about that. Its like through all the projects I am involved in...it feels good learning about other subject matters and being inspired. That reminds me, I need to find a way to see the Salvador Dali exhibit in Atlanta.

Have a blessed Sunday!!!

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Day 187: New Direction for Blog...

ABOVE: Pictures of Sohphia/Sofia's---[from Top to bottom]Sophia B. Packard, Sophia Loren, Ms. Sophia, and Sofia Coppola

Right this moment I’m supposed to be in the Hamptons. But instead I am blogging from my beautiful apartment in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was in the Hamptons last summer, and this summer I’ve found myself, my soul, and I really need to work on the foundation of that relationship. It’s my hope that I just connected with you with that last sentence. Not the part about the Hamptons, but the self relationship part. I’m big on living your best life now. Nevertheless, right this moment, this very weekend I am nourishing my relationship with myself like a newborn. Before I forget, welcome to my blog. Today, I’ve decided to re-direct the way I express myself via this medium. Please continue to read on to understand my world. Again, thanks for taking the time to read what I have to say. I have lots to say and I welcome you to my journey. Please invite me into yours. I love connecting to all people or all kinds!

First things first, I am who I am. Who I am is a hybrid of who other women before me have been. These women are/were all races, religions, political affiliations, sexual orientation, geographical locations, and then some. My being pulls from all of them. I am not them, yet I pull from them for my purpose on earth. They have guided me on my direction. For the purpose of this blog, I am pulling from women with the name of Sophia. Why Sophia you may ask? Well one of my dreams is to become a Hollywood based actress and screenwriter. I watched the movie “Julia and Julie”, and I decided to attempt to do the same as screenwriter/director/actress Sophia Coppola. I was derailed by my selection of Sofia when I realized that she had a larger than life father, Francis Ford Coppola. So, after I made my selection on who to emulate professionally, I felt lost. Then I thought, Sophia has her earthly father and I have God, my heavenly father. So I will follow suit like she has and does. I started the blog on February 17, 2010, with the goal of actually living IN my dream by February 17, 2011. Well since that very day when I made my decision some surreal things have happened to me.

They are as follows:

1.I starred in my first play as an adult.
2.I submitted my first spec script to a contest
3.I’ve been committed to this blog like crazy (with no audience that I know of)
4.I was let go from my job as a Quality Manager. I am a scientist by trade.
5.I have invented a product ( now selecting patent attorneys)
6.I’ve started a start up business, Speak Scientific Productions
7.I’ve read a total of 86 books this year so far
8.I’ve watched a total of 129 films this year (studied the films special features) as directed by Spike Lee during a filmmakers masters class I took with him.
9.I attended a film festival as a patron ( I am a serial volunteer)
10.I’ve auditioned for 11 projects.
11.I’ve lost a lot of weight and I am healthier ( see previous posts)
12.I was invited to serve on the board of Girls on the Run International
13.I went to my first Triathlete meeting for newbie’s
14.I joined a Portuguese Language group in my city
15.I’ve started travel blogging for American Airlines black traveler site blackatlas.com
16.I’ve written two branding campaigns for two large corporations.
17.I’ve written a step outline for several films and one TV show
18.I’ve started dabbling into Photography
19.I’ve started writing a novel based on my life in 2000-2001
20.I’ve developed a closer relationship with God.

I state all of the above to explain to you that I am more than just an actress. I am Mashawnda. I am a serial entrepreneur. I am a writer. I am a philanthropist. I am a yogi. I am a Christian. I’m a former heartbreaker. I am a serial artist (truth be told). I’ve sculpted clay, I write poetry. Professionally, I am a scientist. That’s how I’ve paid my bills for the past ten years. I’ve conducted research and testing on Cancer and HIV, as well as the West Nile Virus. I’ve modeled for Belk Department stores, so I guess I am or have been a model. I’ve owned a failed DC-based non-profit. My list goes on. I’ve done a lot and I’m happy doing a lot with my time on earth. I never do it all alone, that’s for sure, but I am my own woman. I have many titles and for this blog I am following suit like Sophia.

Without further ado, I’d like to post this article about the name of Sophia:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/pop_print.shtml?content_type=article&content_type_id=1079252

As the article states the name Sophia has many variations. For this blog I'll use them all. Also, while that article was great, I must do a Kanye West interruption and say that the author forgot two women of African-American decent that I also relate to named Sophia: Sophia B. Packard and Ms. Sophia from the film, “The Color Purple”. Yes, the role Oprah Winfrey played. I am all of them and then some.

I will blog daily and I expect your interaction with my daily posts. I mean whether you are emailing me from work, the beach, or your bathroom let’s start a lifelong conversation. I need you and maybe you will come to need me.

Stay Peaceful. Stay Pretty. Stay Paid.

Mashawnda Dowell

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Day 186: Rested Up

I was reading my bible this am and I can across the book of Ephesians. In the section I read it spoke about 'resting'. When I think of resting, I think of getting in my bed and sleeping. Well in this book in the bible, it was talking about resting in God's rest. This means trusting him to do what needs to be done in our lives. Today I'm super busy... But I must start resting in God.

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Days 184-185: This is a Test- I have Balance

For the past two days I have been presented with a few challenges and tests. However, I really don't have the time to worry about what I can not change. What I've come to learn is to focus on what I can make a difference with and the other stuff will all correct its self. Its like focus on the vision and the items that I have energy to correct.

For an example, my former employer called me the other day saying I owe them money from travel that I took in June, before I departed. I explained to them in a letter that I was charged by the vendor on my card and then on my company card. How can this happen you may ask? When I worked at my former job, I just held my company card on all of my travel profiles for easy check in and out. Long story short I was told that I needed to pay the funds charged to the account by the end of the month. I am currently working with a low income and right now I dont have the funds.

There used to be a time in my life where I would not sleep because I could not provide something I dont have. I used to cry and get nervous and etc. However, now I do what I can do. I tell people what to expect from me and we can go from there.

I can only give what I have.

So thats with that. Other than that I am pressing forward with my life. Its been exactly 1 month and 19 days since I was last employed. I am working hard to go over 3 months of being on unemployment.

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Day 183: Cooking In Life

As I mentioned in an earlier post I was let go from my steady job on June 30, 2010. I loved my job and I learned so much in the 3 years that I was there. It was kind of like going to business school. Well, in that sense I've graduated from school and now I am in the kitchen. How is that possible you may ask? Well, now that I am living on an income of $1500 a month...things have changed. My wasteful spending, my dreaming, even my daily tasks. So in order for me to keep my sanity I got in my "kitchen " of my life.

I prepared my vision of my meal ( my vision). I did this by updating my vision board the other night with my updated goals and visions. I got really clear about what type of meal I wanted in my life. Its a rather balanced order I've set. I need balance all around. So next, I went shopping ( with this step, I reviewed what resource items I needed to make my 'meal"). Next, I went grocery shopping ( this is when I had to go out and buy what I needed), this included buying my laptop ( I didn't have one), and also buying notebooks. Now I'm cooking in all areas of my life.

I have so many projects going on so in meal planning terms, I'm cooking. I like cooking because all individual food items are not "ready" at the same time. I will give you an example, today, I was applying for jobs and freelance gigs and all, and I received an email stating that two travel posts that I had written had been posted on this American Airlines site. I was like cool.

Here are the links:

1. http://www.blackatlas.com/city/storydetail/698/380
2. www.blackatlas.com/city/storydetail/697/591

So next up I received an email about an acting gig I applied for two weeks ago. I also received an email from a job that I had submitted to 3 weeks ago. So I am cooking. Not just in my career life, but my love life, and also my spiritual life, and my travel life.

I am cooking a fine meal right now in life. I never knew I'd enjoy the process so much.

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Day 182: Walk The Line

When walking in a straight line you must follow its arrows. I don't like directions and signs. I typically just like to 'GO' but what I realized is that the best way to 'GO' without directions is if youve been to a place before. Well, where I'm going is a new place and so I need to walk the line. I need to follow all directions and pay attention.

This week I am walking the line. I am doing what's all ordinary or whats been done by successful others before, so I can at least get to phase I of my dreams. I've had a hard head, but now I see unless I've been some place before with my dreams...I must walk the line that's already been paved. After Ive made it one time, then I can invent my own road map.

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Days 179-181: Answered Prayers

I now have the energy to do major work. I am thanking God. I have been writing since Friday. Writing and applying for jobs and all.

I am grateful.

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Days 175-178: I'm Floating

I cant seem to focus right now. I have been floating. I used to frown on periods like this but now I just embrace it. I cant seem to write or anything. The only thing that Ive done was list projects that I must work on. I am very weak now. I am typically the strongest of all my family and friends. Now I am am the weakest. I must get some rest so I can focus.

At this time in my life where I am unable to really go into action. Ive laid still. I have not been able to "grind" this week. None of my convos have been about progress or anything. Everything is rather lightweight.

Yet something happened and I just feel blessed. My people took over the "wheel". I mean all of my family and mother. They dont even have a clue I am weak or know about my blog.

My weak self planned a trip to SF to visit one of my best friends to get away and rest my mind. I just clicked purchase on the buy tab on delta.com but my friend is taking over the planning of the trip. My sister has taken over so much with me in pushing me to love and forgive and get out of bed! My friend Tally is just amazing with giving me hope and all. My friend Jocelyn is a good "balance" with my reality. The list goes on.

I learned this week when I am weak, my family and friends are strong.

I am praying for strength tonight. I am going to bed very early as well so I can dream. No real work has gotten done this week. I invented a product and I will email my prospect attorney. Yet, I cant meet with her until later.

Times like this I wish I was married. But you know what, I am married---to all the wonderful people in my life.

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Days 173 & 174: Working

Ive been focused and working. In addition, I've started reading, " Eat, Pray, Love". I deeply relate to the writer in every way. This book came to me right on time.

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Day 172: Everyone Can't Fly 1st Class

I fly first class for 80 % of my flights. With that I've seen alot in the have and have nots of what we get in the world. The bottom line of it all is that we get what we pay for. This goes with life as well...the requirements for a certain level of living require a certain level of thinking.

I've learned this and I understand it. I get what I pay for. I may pay for 'it' via hard work...but that's my business.

Nothings for FREE.

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Day 171: Detachment

I am a doer, so its very hard for me to detach from my goals. However, now I see that I have no choice. Starting today I will make my goals clear and detach.

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Day 165-170: Calibrated my Compass

This past weekend I had to just sit still and listen to God. I had to meditate on the direction I needed to go in life. I did this while simply writing out my visions. I needed to see my dreams on paper if possible. Its like I would "dream and pray" and then write down what I felt. May sound silly...but I had to do that in order to calibrate my compass with my life.

I did a lot of praying, drawing ( yes), adding pics to my vision board. After I did all of that...I write out a three year plan for myself. God willing I will be 35 in 3 years and I know you cant live off of dreams. So today I wrote out my daily to do list based off of my 3 year goals. I feel odd doing so because its like a total commitment. Yet, it has been past time to "marry" my dreams/goals. I had been "shaking" up with my dreams. I made a commitment today. Wow that means my "marriage" to my dreams is actually August 4, 2010. So since I started this blog on Feb. 17th...I guess I got "engaged" to my goals then :)

Wish me well on my marriage!!!!

I don't believe in divorce!!!

I feel good that I calibrated my life compass.

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